During the entire course of the wedding, there are several instances that require wedding etiquette wording. What is wedding etiquette wording? It is a collection for phrases or paragraphs meant for the couple’s union.

The wedding etiquette wording follows certain rules to make it as effective and elegant as possible. Traditionally, the bride handles all the wedding details, including the wedding etiquette wording for the groom. But thankfully, now there are some things that can be handed over to other people like the wedding planner, a member of the family or even the clergy.

The announcement:

The engagement can be announced to both families in an intimate gathering. However, the law requires that the union be posted in an ad as public announcement of their nuptial. The wedding etiquette wording for this can be kept to a minimum.

The details include, the name of the couple and their parents, the date and location of the wedding and the reception information. More elegant announcements can run a full-page story about the couple’s history but members of the elite society mostly do this wedding etiquette wording.

The invitation:

After establishing your guest list, it is time to send out the invitations. The wedding etiquette wording is very important and must be written while considering the marital status of the couple’s parents and the couple themselves.

As more and more people get divorced, the wedding etiquette wording has evolved to accommodate the changes. If all the parents are divorced, the invitation should include all parents’ names, with the bride’s parents first. The mothers should be written down before names of their ex-husbands.

It is important to note that wedding etiquette wording dictates that the invitation contains the following: name of the couple, their parents, the date and location of the wedding, wedding attire requirements, the map to the wedding and reception area, the bridal registry information and other details such as a wedding website of the couple.

As a matter of wedding etiquette wording, all the wedding invitations must come from the bride’s side, even for the friends of the groom. They should be sent out six weeks before the wedding day. Guests from out of town should be considered and have their invitations a lot earlier than the rest so they can prepare for the event.

The wedding vows:

Traditionally, wedding vows are spoken to each other as dictated by the clergy. However some couples prefer to make theirs special by making personalize d vows. The couple themselves should write the wedding etiquette wording for vows. Quoting a poem or a song is acceptable as long as it is the person’s sincere words.

The toast:

Prior to the wedding reception, the family should be aware of the program. At this stage, the host should have informed the concerned parties of the wedding etiquette wording speeches they will make. It helps to write down what one has to say to avoid stammering. The parents or a very close family member from each side of the family does the wedding etiquette wording for the speech.

Another speech requiring a wedding etiquette wording is the best man and maid of honor. Usually expressing their long friendship and wishes for their friends, the wedding etiquette wording for these speeches is short but meaningful.

The thanksgiving:

Another speech that needs wedding etiquette wording is the one given by the couple at the end of the program. The couple makes an expression of gratitude to the bride and groom’s families, guests and everyone behind the wedding event. Although the wedding etiquette wording may be spontaneous than the previous speeches, it is nonetheless sincere and appropriate.

The Thank you card:

A week after the wedding it is customary to send out thank you cards to the guests, those who gave a gift and the people who organized the wedding event (including the wedding planner, the musicians, the floral arranger, etc). A simple wedding etiquette wording would be a thank you note or a poem signed by the newlyweds.

This type of wedding etiquette wording job is often left to the bride’s family including those guests from the groom’s side. This is written on a plain white card. Whether the couple uses a standard thank you card or print a personalized one, the wedding etiquette wording should always be sincere, nice and unforgettable.

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Most of the romantic and ideal wedding scenes we have seen in movies involve cute and huggable children. However, being the jolly, innocent and fun creatures that they are, most often, weddings, at least in the movies, involving children turn out to be hilarious and disastrously funny.

We know that children are always seeking fun and will not stop to entertain themselves during boring hours. Children can not easily cope up and comprehend the fun adults have on weddings. The occasion can be very boring to them.

When children get bored, they usher in trouble to adults. They can roam around, throw cakes at people, fight with other kids or ruin things. These are fun to them, but can be nightmares to adults, especially to brides and grooms during weddings.

Children and invitations

Admit it. The sad reality is that more and more brides, and grooms as well, do not like the idea that children will be coming over to their weddings.

Just the thought of crying children and children messing up with her gown and that of the bride’s maids make several brides throw up. Another sad fact is that some parents are not very sensitive to the issue. They could not think and understand how a bride could dislike cute and loveable kids in her wedding.

Wedding etiquette books and guides have it that the best way to exclude children to the occasion is to mention it in the invitations.

According to most wedding etiquette books, brides and grooms who dislike kids around their weddings can do two things: one, do not mention kids’ names in the invites; and two, spread the word that children are not wanted in the wedding.

The second option can be brutal, but it is nicer than having to control kids’ tantrums and annoying acts during weddings.

Because not all people understand and know wedding etiquettes, it is advisable that at some occasions, the couple should be straight forward to inform the guests before hand that the wedding would involve an ‘adult reception.’

Frankly telling parents-guests that kids will not be welcome in the wedding can also be a viable option. For some, the gesture will not be that polite, but practicality will tell other wise. Every bride and groom wants solemnity for their much- awaited moments. Understand that.

Another tactic to exclude children in wedding invitations is to mention the number of seats reserved for a particular guest. For example, Mr and Mrs Winterburg are reserved only two seats at the reception. That means, that Mr and Mrs Winterburg’s five kids do not have places in the wedding. They should know that.

If the guests still fall clueless and insist on bringing along their children with them, call them before the wedding and explain why children should not be attending the wedding. Educate them a little about wedding etiquettes.

Wedding etiquettes for children’s parents

For parents, if it is not mentioned in the wedding invitation that children are not allowed to attend the wedding, and the couple and hosts did not call to emphasize the idea, then it is safe to assume that you could tag along your children.

However, be informed and bear in mind the simple wedding etiquettes for parents. You would not want to ruin the wedding just because your kid suddenly threw an act or suddenly threw a tantrum.

Assume the position of the bride and the groom. Think of how you would feel if you were on their shoes, and children are creating scenes at your wedding. It would not be pretty and cute, right?

Make the initiative to leave your kids at home, if you can help it, when you attend the wedding. They could play around the house or watch the television or do their stuff at home. They might get bored throughout the wedding ceremony and spoil everything.

For those helplessly take along children with them on weddings, wedding etiquette experts advise you to make the most of the opportunity. In other words, make the occasion a venue or time for teaching the kids of simple and practical wedding etiquettes.

Make the occasion a teachable moment by informing the kid that he or she should behave through out the occasion just like how to adult guests behave.

This will be the best teaching occasion to shoe the kids how to act during weddings, or train them about some table and social manners.

Moreover, wedding etiquettes tell us to learn from each wedding. For the couple, on how to be good hosts. For guests, on how to be good guests and for parents to be good teachers to their kids who are incidentally, also attending the wedding.

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Tradition and etiquette dictates that second weddings should be simple and casual instead of being formal and extravagant. However, the number of second or encore wedding is sharply growing each year. Such ceremony is designed to celebrate two people who want to embark on a new marriage with different partners.

Etiquette In Announcing Your Engagement

The immediate concern in planning a second wedding is how to announce this to you children. The children should always be the first be notified of your decision to remarry, as this will combine two already-established families. Expect you children to be stressed by your move and they will need a certain amount of time to accept the situation.

The bride and groom’s parents should be the next to be informed and then the respective ex’s. The ex-wife or ex-husband should make an effort to appease the children and reassure them about their roles in the new family.

Engagement rings from the past should not be worn anymore based on second wedding etiquette. All signs of previous relationships should be taken away once planning for the wedding and announcements are made.

A second marriage can be announced informally such as advertising it in the newspaper, making e-mails and phone calls. Under second wedding etiquette, the couple does not have to host an engagement party but a small gathering can be organized where you can make that important announcement.

Who’s Going?

Just about anybody can attend your second wedding. However, in observance of second wedding etiquette ex-spouses and former in-laws should not be invited even if you are in speaking terms to avoid awkwardness among the other guests.

The bride and groom should calculate a realistic budget for the wedding. This is a rare chance to again have the wedding of your dreams, it could be elegant, extravagant and intimate.

Vows and Ceremonies

Second wedding are normally made in civil ceremonies but can also be done in a religious ceremony. They are many ways to make the ceremony fell very intimate and special. Writing vows is common among second wedding and there is an abundance of books written about it. The children can be assigned to do an important part of the ceremony in order to foster unity. They can escort you while walking the aisle, read passages from the bible or serve as attendants in the event.

The closest family members and friends of the new couple can walk down the aisle or no one at all.

Are Bridal Showers Needed?

Bridal showers for encore brides are normally but this need to adhere with second etiquette rules.

- Only guests should be invited
- Club, Office and school showers can also be done and can be attende by other not on the official guest list. However, those that attended the bride’s first wedding should not participate.

Wedding Gifts and Registry

Guest should make they register. Some guests will have the uncontrollable urge to give something even if the couple does not want gifts. It’s also acceptable for encore couples to sign in the gift registry.

Wedding Gift Ideas for Second Marriages

Gift certificates—restaurants, spas, stores
DVD player and DVDs
Charity Donatios
Coffee maker, pasta maker, cook books

Wedding Receptions and Parties

The reception of a second wedding may be extravagant or simple depending on the taste of the couple. The bride and gross will be first at the line and followed by their children. The traditional garter and bridal bouquet toss are optional.

Not Necessary In A Second Marriage

Rehearsal Dinner
Attendants
Accompanying the bride down the aisle
Procession

Advisable
- Make a gift registry even if you don’t want gifts.

- The children should have responsibilities in the ceremony.

- Customize and personalize the wedding and reception.

Please Avoid
- Doing the same things in like your first wedding.
- Wearing a similar wedding dress.
- Marry in the exact spot of your first wedding.
- Use old rings from a past marriage.
- Criticizing former spouses

Optional

- Showers
- Engagement Party
- Announcement in the newspaper
- Rehearsal Dinner
- A laving wedding with attendants
- Parents walking down the aisle
- A different color for the wedding dress instead of white

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Thanks to educated Victorians with their lustrous names, intelligence and writing abilities, they have passed on to us what a mannered person should do in all social situations. In the 1870’s to 1880’s there were at more than sixty (60) etiquette books that were published of which includes Victorian wedding etiquette. These Victorian wedding etiquettes became popular before and are still popular in these days.

Victorian wedding etiquette focuses on manners, culture and dress before, during and after the wedding ceremony and reception. Victorians also have etiquette rules on courtship and engagement.

– Victorian Wedding Etiquette on Marriage Ceremony

For Victorians, the marriage ceremony varies with the fortunes, desires and wishes of the wedding parties. According to Victorian Wedding Etiquette, a bride and couple may have a very lavish and expensive wedding if they can afford it or they can have a small gathering of closest family and friends celebrating the wedding with them.

As to the form of right, Victorians have no specific directions as to how the wedding rite should be done, but they should follow rules of their churches of the proper wedding rite.

Victorians who are to be married by their ministers, wedding etiquette calls them to study the form or proper wedding rite of their particular church. For Victorians who will be married in a Methodist church should study Book of Discipline. Episcopalian Victorians, on the other hand should read the Book of Common Prayer. Catholic Victorians are invoked to know the basic Ritual in a Catholic Wedding Celebration.

In Victorian wedding etiquette, couples must do wedding rehearsals. The rehearsal of the ceremony is always made in private. Victorians believe that with this way, the bride and groom and the wedding parties could understand better the necessary forms and rites.

– Victorian Wedding Etiquette General Rules

Victorians have general rules in wedding etiquette. They are interesting to learn and to note especially if you are planning to have a Victorina wedding theme.

Bridesmaids and groomsmen are expected to assist in the preparation of the wedding and even during the wedding especially if the wedding is not private. Wealthy Victorians held weddings for public and with many guests that were expected to attend (even from nearby towns), the hired help won’t be able to accommodate the guests.

Although this seems funny nowadays, but Victorian wedding etiquette is clear on this matter: bridesmaids should be younger, yes you read it right, younger than the bride. If you have an older sister who you love you dearly, you won’t be able to make her a bridesmaid if you were born during the time of the Victorians.

Victorian wedding etiquette on bridesmaids clothing is also peculiar. Bridesmaids should wear dresses that look like that of the bride. It was believed before (even before the time of the Victorians) that a devil is on the loose everytime there is a wedding. This devil is tasked to kidnap the bride, take her away from her groom, and take her virginity from her. So, bridesmaids are selected, those that look like the bride, younger or of her age, and must dress the way she dresses so as to confuse the devil who should be taken.

The material for bridesmaids wedding dresses are usually light and flowing fabric that allows graceful gait, and must have lots of ornament. Dresses should not be necessarily expensive.

The bridesmaids should assist the bride (thus the name brides’ MAID) in dressing her, receiving company, holding her things, etc. They should stand at the brides left side, with the first bridesmaid or the maid of honor holding the gloves and bouquet.

As for the groomsmen, he should receive the clergyman and present to him the couple to be married. The first groomsman or the best man should stand upon the right side of the groom during the ceremony.

Victorian wedding etiquette has not been changed much. They are still the basic wedding etiquette that we have today. We can follow Victorian wedding etiquette’s general rule as is without looking or making ourselves outrageous. Some of victorian wedding etiquette are just bent a bit, such as a wedding dress, to accommodate the wishes and desires of the bride or the groom or of a relative special to the hearts of the couple.

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People these days are thinking, does wedding etiquette still exist in our age wherein every rule that anybody can think of could be bent? In this rule defying age, it seems that wedding etiquette is just a thing of the past. But is wedding etiquette really now just part of history? I don’t think so. And maybe even you and the rest of the population don’t think so, too.

Every culture has wedding etiquette. Even if we think those who live in far flung areas are barbaric and do not know a thing about wedding etiquette, they have their own sets of rules and etiquette to follow. Their wedding etiquette may not be as proper as we think ours is, but for them their wedding etiquette is the proper one.

The customs that we have come to know dates back from the 1800, at the time of the Victorians. Victorians are well educated, intelligent and well mannered. They value social manners and behavior. This is the reason why lots of social and etiquette books had been published during the Victorian era.

The social and practices of the Victorians has been passed on to us and became the basic etiquette of the westerners. These Victorian customs have been modified or bent to suit our current culture and lifestyle.

What are the basics of wedding etiquette? Should we follow every rule in Emily Post’s famous WEDDING ETIQUETTE book?

WEDDING ETIQUETTE BASICS

In every all aspect of the wedding there is a code that should be followed. There’s a set of manners to follow when creating an invitation, sending it out, and replying to it; in attending a wedding, guests should abide to the basic etiquette for guests; when sending out gifts there’s a set of manners that must be followed too.

Here are some of basics of wedding etiquette for the wedding parties and the guests:

For the bride and groom:

- Wedding invitation must be worded either formal or informal. It depends upon the couple. If they want a formal wedding celebration, they must choose formal words. If the wedding will be celebrated with closest family and friends, an informal wording on the invitation would do.

Invitation should be sent out four to six weeks before the wedding. If your wedding is a wedding destination, you may send a Save a Date card to your guests six to eight months before the wedding. Your guest also need to prepare themselves financially and physically for your wedding destination.

- A bride can now choose any dress design and color that she wants. But if she will be wed in a church with strict rules on dress code, she should abide to the rules of her church.

- A groom may wear either a suit or black tie. He could also wear a loose dress in beige pants for a beach wedding.

- The couples should not ask for cash gifts. As for wedding registry card, they should not insert it invitation. Just mention in your invitation that you have an online wedding registry.

- The stepmother may seat at the church’s first pew only if the bride (if the bride is her stepdaughter) is closer to her than her mother. However, if the bride is close to both her mother and stepmother, she should seat her mother at the first pew.

For the guests:

- Invited guests should reply to a wedding invitation immediately after receipt of the invitation card or not later than two weeks before the wedding. Couples need to be informed of the actual head count for the sit down dinner.

- Guests should be formally dressed if the invitation is worded formally even if there is no indication that the attire should be formal. Women are now allowed to wear evening dress for a formal wedding especially if their escorts are in black tie.

- Guests are not obliged to buy gifts from the registry. Invited guests who can’t make it to the wedding are also not obliged to send gifts.

Gifts may be sent to the couple before or one year after the wedding. It will help the newlywed alot if the gifts will be delivered at the couples new address.

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The worst nightmare of any couple is the cancelled wedding. Despite months of preparation, things can still go wrong even at the moment of saying “I do.” From a cheating partner to having the extreme case of cold feet, one must remember to maintain wedding etiquette throughout the entire ordeal.

Depending on the seriousness of a cancelled wedding, one can still turn a failed occasion into a positive one. An obvious wedding etiquette procedure is to inform the family and guests that there will be no wedding celebration. If the wedding is cancelled a few days before the actual ceremony, sending cards to family and friends announcing the broken engagement is a suitable wedding etiquette.

All arrangements made for the wedding date itself should be cancelled. Some companies will ask for payment, an amount that could be equal to the preparations taken by the supplier. It is a wedding etiquette to handle all this with grace and finesse.

However, if the cancellation happens on the wedding date itself, the announcement must be made verbally and as soon as possible to avoid public humiliation. The family should use the wedding etiquette of comforting the one left at the altar and make it a point to shield him or her from other people since this is a sad situation.

Gift wedding etiquette should be followed. This means all the wedding gift items will be returned, including cash, appliances or properties. It will be hard to do but at least the aggrieved party will not be accused of impoliteness.

When calling off a wedding, it really is a proper wedding etiquette to do it months before the wedding date. That is what pre-marriage counseling is for. The wedding etiquette dictates that all couples should take marriage seminars to make sure that they are prepared emotionally and mentally for the huge responsibility ahead.

A broken engagement is embarrassing as it is but as a wedding etiquette, you have the freedom not to question the couple why they decided not to continue with the wedding. And being the couple, you also have the right not to tell anyone until you feel you are ready.

Not all broken engagements happen because of a lonely partner. When a relative’s death occurs, it is proper wedding etiquette to cancel the wedding. This shows wedding etiquette in respect to the deceased’s family and expresses sincere sorrow.

Proper wedding etiquette is to allow six months to pass before attempting to walk down the aisle again. And even if the couple decides to wed two to three months after the death in the family, one must be ready to simplify the ceremony to observe wedding etiquette.

Engagements broken by family members also happen. If this occurs, try to resolve the matter as discretely a possible. Wedding etiquette dictates that only the couple can decide on canceling the weeding or postponing it to a later date.

When a partner is left cold on the altar:

Things can become worse but you can also turn it into a positive one. If the wedding reception has been paid for, the person who paid for it can use the reception and continue on with the party for the guests’ benefit. Wedding etiquette may not require the aggravated person to attend but it is a better way to forget the embarrassment.

When the cancelled wedding occurs out of town, it is an important wedding etiquette to have a clear head and sort out the pre-made plans of the wedding. Things like the honeymoon trip and the hotel accommodations must be taken cared of. If the aggrieved party has paid for the trip, he or she can choose to take it as a getaway and period of reflection.

Bouncing back from the broken engagement:

The first few weeks are the toughest to face. Be prepared to here the question “Why?” and “What happened?” a lot. Wedding etiquette dictates that you have to face these people with a smile and offer as little detail as possible.

As attractive as the sound of revenge is, you must try to keep an open mind and be as civil about everything a possible. Remember that this person once had an important part of your life and part of a wedding etiquette is to respect their decision.

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Being the maid of honor and the best man have a number of wedding etiquette duties. This includes the church responsibilities of handling the train, making sure that everyone is in their place and hosting the reception program.

One of the important duties for any maid of honor and best man is to arrange for the bridal shower and stag party. Wedding etiquette for showers or stags can be done separately or together. It is a traditional wedding etiquette for the bridesmaids to have their own celebration as well as the groomsmen for their stag party.

For the bridal shower:

Women have more finesse when it comes to bridal shower parties. The wedding etiquette for such events may require the maid of honor to come up with original ideas for the shower. The first thing to consider is the format. The wedding etiquette for formats can be from the formal (a dinner) or informal (strip club party).

Aside from that, there are other alternatives like going to the spa, spending a party at the circus or whatever the maid of honor thinks that the bride will appreciate. A bridal shower is thrown in honor of the bride and her friendship with the girls. Wedding etiquette only calls for all the bridesmaid’s help in organizing it and making it memorable.

A proper bridal shower observes the wedding etiquette of a program. A simple one will do. Depending on the theme, the program starts off with an introduction of the bride’s friends, a round of games for everyone, the gift giving (if any) and then dinner.

Gifts for the bridal shower are optional but are a great wedding etiquette to follow. The bride’s friends can chip in for one extravagant gift or each of them can bring a piece for the bride. The wedding etiquette gift for bridal showers can be as tame as matching monogrammed towels to something naughty like lingerie.

The wedding etiquette for games is to celebrate it as a fun reminder of the bride’s single days or something about her current relationship. It is acceptable to have games purely for fun. But what the maid of honor has to remember is the shower giveaways.

Already considered as an art form, the giveaways or gift bags are a wedding etiquette must have. The bags should contain a souvenir (any object of choice chosen by the maid of honor), a thank you card for making the event and maybe a picture of the couple for remembrance. Yes it sounds corny but it is about the bride and groom.

Another wedding etiquette to remember is the timing of the bridal shower. An event like this should be celebrated weeks before the wedding date. This will allow the bride enough time to relax and truly enjoy the shower. And should she get drunk then, there is a lot of time to recover from the hang over.

For the best man:

A stag party is usually celebrated weeks before the wedding celebration. It is bad wedding etiquette to hold it the day before the ceremony. Things can go wrong when that happens. Imagine the groom arriving with a big headache.

All the stag party is concerned is the budget of the event. If the best man can get as much funding from the other groomsmen, the event can go well underway. Most wedding etiquette for a stag party is not followed but the concept is there.

Hosting is a wedding etiquette that the best man has to perform. Unlike the bridal shower, this process is very informal. The hosting job may only go as far as introducing the other groomsmen and then inviting in the strippers.

The wedding etiquette of providing food and drinks still apply though. If the stag party is held at the hotel, room service can be ordered up to their room. If they decide to celebrate in a bar, the menu is easily available to them.

Stag parties are different from bridal showers because men view this as their last hurrah. The most important wedding etiquette rule or both parties is to never ask what transpired that night. It will only open up suspiciousness and could cancel a wedding. Brides, just be glad that your man made it to the altar. By him showing up there and meeting you means that nothing further happened.

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