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It's Your Wedding Too - How To Get Your Partner Involved

By Kit Marsters

You're about to get married. There are still a million things to do (or so it feels!) and you're receiving advice from all directions. Except for the one direction you could actually do with a bit of input from – your husband-to-be.

It's frustrating, but it's not unusual. I think that many men genuinely think they are doing us a favour by staying well out of it and leaving all the details up to us. Just so we can have the wedding we want. However, it can feel as if they are not at all bothered, and it's their wedding too.

Perhaps it is one of those traditional things still firmly stuck in our dear partner's brains: man likes woman, man proposes to woman, woman and family arrange the wedding, man shows up. Whatever it is, it is unlikely that we will ever get our men as excited about the perfect colour of napkins as we are, nor are they likely to even see why this could be important.

What we can do, is to get them a little bit more involved, at least.


Timing is crucial. When your partner has just walked in after a long day at the office, it is not a good idea to pounce him with wedding talk. Most of us are different. We love to chat about how our day went, and how that annoying colleague, you know, the one who was flirting with the guy from new claims at last year's Christmas party, well she was a right pain in the backside today and oh, I was thinking, pale blue or traditional white for the napkins? He'll likely just want to sit down, have a cup of coffee and relax for a while. The napkins simply don't stand a chance.

A good time is after dinner, when you're sitting down and settling into the evening. A full stomach can do wonders. Just have some general chitchat and then mention, casually, that you were pondering napkin colours and just aren't sure. He still might brush it off and try leave it up to you, but if you gently mention that you just can't decide and would really like his opinion as it would be a load off your mind, he might give an actual response.

Mind you, you might wish to go for the other colour anyway, but that's up to you.

The Roundabout Way

You're snuggled up on the sofa. Your partner is in a relaxed and chatty mood. You still have problems with the seating arrangements at the reception. Now is the time to do something about it.

Ask your husband-to-be to tell you some fun family stories. Most likely, some people's names will come up who will be at the wedding. This is the perfect opportunity to solve issues like “Oh, I better not place uncle Harry next to such and such then, shall I?”

The roundabout way can be a great way to get handy, helpful information for your wedding. If you're lucky, your partner might not even truly realise he's talking wedding details, and if he does, he's not likely to mind.


Perhaps your partner doesn't mind shopping. And what with the upcoming wedding, he might mind it less than usual – he will want you to be happy, otherwise he wouldn't have proposed to you.

Let him have a browse through his favourite stores, and if you can resist, avoid the clothes shops if he tends to have an allergic reaction to them. It might be a good opportunity to solve the napkin problem once and for all, but mind that you don't go overboard and try to do everything in one day.

Last But Not Least

I know, it seems hopeless, at times. If you are truly stressing, it's best to sort the finer details with the aid of your family and friends, and try coax your man into helping you with the more personal issues.

It's often not that they don't care, even though it may feel that way. From feedback I've received from male friends, they just don't feel qualified to make those kinds of decisions. Mr Fix-Its or not, arranging a wedding can feel as daunting to them as it is to us.

You know your man best. It may just take a simple sitting down with him one weekend, explain that you are as clueless as he is, and that you really need his help. He loves you, and I am sure that he will do his best to help make your big day as lovely as possible.

Perhaps you both can pick a day and have a laugh going through the lists at a relaxed pace.

Good luck, and I hope you have a wonderful wedding.

This article has been submitted in affiliation with http://www.Prye.Com/ which is a site for Wedding Invitations.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Kit_Marsters

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